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Thorn

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The taste of torrid romance is all I need to fill my hunger pains. [04 Jun 2004|10:38pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

In this world there are few things that we as human beings live for.
1.Material things
2.Identity
3.Wealth
4.Lust
5.Power
There is no 'right' thing to search for or live for, there is just us. People in a world full of people. Perhaps it is not what we live for, but how we live for it.
For example, say you love nature, if you but your soul into that love, than that is truly beautiful. But if you love nature & then go litter, then you got your life twisted. That is where people get messed up. They still have that passion or love, but it deludes them on how to show it.
Personally, I live to know more. That is my reason. I am not saying we all have a purpose. (Because we don't) However, we should live. That is a purpose in itself correct?
Am I confusing?
It is such an interesting thing to think about.
Human emotion can be so blissfully chaotic. It is almost as if the things we believe & live for are the things that kill us.
That is the digusting cycle of which we call life. OUr entire lives we keep wondering, pensively thinking about what will come next & no matter what is happenbing we cannot help but wonder, & in that powerful moment of clairity is when we die.
That is when we find it.
OR, do we die searching?
It is all to obscenely perfect to imortalize in one's mind.
And yet, it keeps you alive.

<3

I'm gonna explode! *BA KOOM* [31 May 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Yeah, so I am here at my mom's house & it's been fun, & really random.
I went thrift store shopping & got some cool 70's clothes. Ohhh & I saw the VW BUS of my dreams man. FAR OUT! Total Retro-ness man.
WHOOAA Buddy.
I had to go to the emergency room yesterday though. I fell over & passed out for stomach pains. IT hurt & really sucked, now I have to be doused up on meds. *fun*

I think ReYin is mad, I don't know why I feel like he has been trying to avoid me. Well, I figure I am just gonna disappear for a while. Lay low. I won;t be around till at least thursday.

Oh by the way, my kitty is pregnant, so she has to chill on the chrime fighting.

I am really worried about Morgan. He is having girl troubles, & there is no way I can help. I really wish I could. He does not deserve to be treated like crap.
My mommy is a silly goose. *Much love momma!*


/./././/./././././Yup/./././././
UGh. nothing to do. MORe later.

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

LOOK MOM NO LIFE! [25 May 2004|01:19am]
Marilyn Manson
Industrial rock! Just like Marilyn Manson, you
know what you have to say and you just say it!
I like you very much...just be careful you
don't scare me away...


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


HASH(0x8aa31b4)
schizotypal


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
<3

What old Nick show am I? [25 May 2004|01:06am]
HASH(0x862abe8)
You are CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. She is a rad
chick with absolutely no fashion sense. If you
are a guy and chose this... you are gay.


Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
<3

Uh...Spiderman is awesome. [24 May 2004|07:19pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Finally got a chance to update.
::::::::::::Weekend was hectic. :::::::
~SO much to get done.
~I got a cool spiderman watch in the mail too. I got it for ReYin.
*smiles* ReYin, ReYin, How I love the name.
~Went rollerbalding. Whee.
~I look like a muppet.
~I love Serenity Rose.
::::::TODAY:::::
~I got a work permit. Easy. The plan is going uh...as planned.
Today was really awesome overall.
~I went swimming...with all my clothes on! That was totally exhilerating.
~I met these facinating people too. They were this cute young couple that just moved into the complex. Jeremy & Julian were thier names.
~I saw Ursela today. She is very nice. She always says I look pretty.
~If only I felt it.


/./././././Anyway, tommorrow I am going with ReYin to GAMESTOP, he is going to apply for a job there too./././././


GOOD NEWS...no, EXCELLENT NEWS! "THE PLAN" (which we will now call under the code word Operation Outlet) is going along way faster then I had originally planned.
It LoOks like the move will go down NeXt June.

AWESOME TO THE MAX. p.s. I LOVE REYIN!

<3

Jesus Called last night. Charlie Manson Is Free & We are discussing anarchy over dinner. [21 May 2004|10:48am]
[ mood | & my tummy hurts ]

I am occupied trying to calm my self now. I am rather pissed off today. My morning was not bad, actually it started off pretty good, but I ran into the counselor & she wanted to talk & shit & I am just no in the mood to get my self all worked up. But then i did & now I just need to unwind. Read or something. My tummy hurts & I just want to relax right now.
*sigh*
I hate my hands.
Why stop there, I hate my body in general.









NO! Not gonna get upset. *find my center*



Calm thoughts today. IT's friday god-dammit & I am gonna be so fucking happy. *smile smile*
This journal sucks.


bye

<3

Myth creature..... [19 May 2004|07:26pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

phoenix
Phoenix:
Phoenixes are litterally birds of fire. They are
brave and majestic and have the ability to be
reborn from their own ashes. You are strog
willed an confident- a true leader. Although
you can get down in the dumps occasionaly you
are never there for long. Many people flock
around you and like you as a friend.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

<3

Drag Queens & popcicle fairies.... [19 May 2004|10:56am]
[ mood | restless ]

Yeah I went to Hollywood yesterday. I got a Kimono, it is black & really pretty I am gonna wear it next wednesday.
I hung out with these drag queens. One of them looked like Boy George. SEXYNESS.
Fuk/./././././././

I saw these shoes there at La La's they were so awesome. I am gonna get them when I save money.

Reyin is sexy. He was wearing that shirt today. The one with the dragon on it. I want to rip it off with my teeth & have my way with him on the lockers. Heh.! Woah.....carried away I am getting yes.

potatoes.




I went to Ameoba, I didn't get anything though. Nothing good.

So I figured I am going to Japan when I am 26. YEah that will be cool. "Turning Japenese I think I'm turning Japenese I really think so"
Funny song.


mors
Mors


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla




Reyin....ohhh......heh.*orgasmic overload*

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Dooo Whoop doo whooop doodly doo [18 May 2004|10:55am]
[ mood | weird ]

Yesterday I had a lot of fun. I went rollerbalding for about 2 hours, then I went swimming, made smoothies, & I drew some pictures of my feelings.
I was thinking about getting together with someclose friends this weekend & haveing a pool party or something before summer break. [I'll keep that updated.]

So far everything is going according to plan with THE MASTER PLAN & all looks good. I got a job for September. I will be working at Jamba Juice at THE BRIDGE. My friend Jon is coming back form berkely tomorrow! We are gonna go to Venice & unicycle & get fake tatoos & eat chili fries & talk to strangers & suff. It will be awesome to the max.

I had a weird dream the other day. The whole school turned into one of those moon bounce pits, It was cool. Everyone was jumping around & what not.

Anyway, I wrote this poem....


Oragami Love

Oragami Love,
papercut bleeds,
many different colors,
for all of us to bleed,
dioriented shapes,
swirling oozing twisted,
oragami love is not only for the gifted,
Oragami love can be folded in many different ways,
black, white, faggot, lesbian & grey,
I'm an oragami lover,
I bend & flex & tear,
but my oragami love,
I am willing to share.

<3

THE MASER PLAN OF IMPENDING DOOM!!!! [11 May 2004|01:08am]
[ mood | busy ]

After preparations & revisions, I have finally got my master plan down pat. Prepare for some EXTREME AMAZEMENT BEYOND THAT OF AMAZINGNESS!


/././././././This summer I am planning on getting a part time summer job, as well as enrolling in summertime community college classes. Half of the money I make will go into my bank account. I will be in Seattle, so this job will only be temporary. When I get back to L.A. I am planning on continuing school until March. At this time I will be participating in the Proficiency Exam/GED.
During the school year however, I plan on getting a part time job at the local bookstore. Once again, half of my pay will be put into the back for saving.
After I pass the Exam, I will start working full time & take classes at the local community college.
In December of 2005 I will get my own apartment. By then, I shall have enough money saved up to support my basic needs for my apartment; furniture, paint, food, silverware ECT. I can get furniture cheap at flea markets & I have some extra furniture already in storage. Rent is cheap by the college, only $450 A month. Utilities are paid & all I need is money for food & basic necessities.
In January, I should have everything settled out in my apartment, & my roommate (Re Yin) will be permanently dwelling with me. Now I plan on living locally in Culver City till I am about 25, then I want to move to Santa Monica or Japan (big leap I know), however, I figure it will work out if it wants to.
After two years of Community College, I will transfer to Santa Monica College & get my BA in psychology & art. I hope to one day become a famous free-lance artist. I also would like to study philosophy. I also want to get an AA in writing & literature. I was also thinking of going into my own clothing design company. I am still unsure yet. One thing I am certain of, I will precede a career in art.

Now I know for a fact my mother will respect my dicission & support me in what I choose to do with my life, my father, however, is another story. If he, or his new wife tries anything to stand in my way, then I will get emancipation & disown them permanently. This is my only choice.
Now don’t think that I have not taken this whole plan into little thought, because I haven’t. On the contrary, I have actually been planning this for quite some time & now I finally have all the minor details worked out & everything is falling into place.
I know that I will have to strive hard at what I want to accomplish, but I believe that if I really, truly, sincerely want this, (& I do) then it will come in time. I can do it. It really is not as difficult as it sounds. My inspiration is my grandmother. She moved to this country alone with hardly anything & she has come along way since then. I can only hope I can be half the woman she is.
I want her to be proud of me.
Everything should fall into play & I will keep you updated on My Plan. What I am focusing on getting now is a part time job to buy a laptop for my college studies.

Stranger Days, I will update soon,
-karina (kitora)

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Where do I go from here? [06 May 2004|08:03pm]
I like to read. Reading gives me this feeling of a better place. Weather I am reading fiction, or actual events I try to learn what I read. I try to figure a new way to better myself. You see an author does not just aimlessly write for the soul purpose of writhing. They have a moral that they try to get out to their audience. I, being a writer myself, try to put a deeper meaning in everything I write, beacause you never know who will read your material & how they will react to it.

What I am trying to say is, that we all havce a meaning. Now, I am not going to make this some comlicated trivial epic about life & what not, things are to complicated already, but what I do hope you get some sort of feeling when you read this. All I want is a reaction. Wether it is negetive or positive or mixed, I just want a reaction. The theory here is that, weather one causes you a million years of therapy, or the most memorable day of your existence, they are just looking for a sign that you have taken something with you when you leave.

I want to make an impact on people. There is so much I want to do. I want things to get better. So, what I am getting at is...that we need to make an impact on every person we meet.

I cannot do this alone. Life is a struggle enough as it is. But if we tried a little harder, then maybe it wouldn't be so tough. Now, this is not an isperational speech, really, this is nothing at all. This is just ONE person's thoughts out of the 6.5 billion people on the planet.

All I want is for people to really think.
There is something to be learned from every single experience that they encounter.
Now as for you. You can leave now, thinking about what you've just read & take it into consideration. Or, you could simply ignore it. However, I garentee that you will think of this at some point in your life & really begin to wonder what it's all about.

Life does not have to be difficult, people just make it harder on themselves. They make every thing to trivial & complex.
The meaning is out there, & the truth is not hard to find. Whatever hurt you may have felt, whatever pain someone may have caused you is over now. It's done. How do I know this? Because you are safe right now, reading this. There is nothing that can harm you while you are reading this because they are just words. Just thoughts about life portrayed through my eyes & mine alone. Alone, but it does not have to be that way.
Now, I am not trying to recuit people to all live in peace & join hands, sing "We are the world" & make smoores. Because I know that's never going to happen & that is not the way the world really is, that just another lie out there. The world is full of lies & if you can see past them, then you will be ok.
Why am I writing this? Becuase that is MY purpose. Right now at this point in time, my destiny is to write this & maybe, just maybe, I will change the thoughts of a few of you out there. YOU. YOur destiny right now is to read this.


There is no further feched fate. Meaning that: You don't have to spend your entire life looking for some purpose that is not there. Your purpose is to do whatever you are doing at that point in time. So what are we all doing now. Living. That is our purpose. To live. All we need to do is take it day by day. Whatever is bothering us will pass. Beacause that is time.

I can only hope that anyone reading this will think about it. Cause, you never know what reading this will impact you further.

What I know is that you will have a reaction to what you read.

-karina [kitora]
rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Cinco de Mayo festival of nothing... [05 May 2004|01:08pm]
[ mood | My tummy hurts... ]

Yeah so today eye am staying home.
Eye figure eye have no real reason to go to scholl today. Eye just don't care. My tummy hurts too.
Eye was just watching BerSerk. Eye miss ReYin. My step-mom was really pissing me off this morning. God dam she can really get on my nerves.
Any-way, eye was reading this thing yesterday about female circumcision, [sic] it was brought over to germany by these african women & now the africans want them to accept it into their culture.


EYe am all for respecting one another & your beliefs, but, there are some circumstances that eye think need to be adressed.
1. Everyone has a right to practice what ever they believe as long as it does not hurt anyone.
2. If they choose to participate in their rituals, & they are against a law in a certin state or country, then they should practiec it in their own country because we cannot change laws around because of one person's belief.
3. Every one has the freedom of choice as to what they want to believe.



EYe think it would be a whole lot eaisier if people were just a little more accepting to comprimise.


././././././/././././



NEW TOPIC STARTS HERE..................



WEll, between you & me, eye was able to get Re Yin this spiderman collectable he has been looking for. (If you know who he is & eye found out you told him...EYE WILL BE YOUR DEMISE)



-kitora

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

A Mountian of Magic... [02 May 2004|12:28pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Yesterday eye went with Re Yin to Magic Mountian.
It was fun.
Eye am still a little tired.


Eye just had to make a birthday card for my little sister's friend. Ugh, eye don't even know her.
Eye don't care.





Erp.


/./././././././/.//.../

Eye need new shoes.




Some asshole at magic mountian really pissed me off yesterday though.
He was throwing pennies at a poor helpless lizard.
Eye looked at him & told him that it was not a polite thing to do. He replied rudely. Stupid Nigger Kike. Eye swear eye hate people like him, dam fuckin ghetto ass loser fatass.

Karma will get him back though. Little fucker.

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Soap bitch... [28 Apr 2004|03:29am]
CWINDOWSDesktopFightclub.jpg
Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Dizzy. [28 Apr 2004|03:14am]
[ mood | calm ]

Yesterday was Re Yin's birthday. It was fun. Hismom kept wanting to take pictures though. Eye hate how eye look in pictures. Eye am always doing something stupid or something. Yeah. Re Yin is soo sexy. Just thinking of him gives me orgasmic feelings all over...potatos.



Yeah.



Today is toni's birthday. Happy day of being spawned to earth. Nice shoes.


She still hangs out with tawny & skyly. They are stupid & have no reason to be alive.

[sic]


It feels like friday. Eye wish it was. We are testing. Eye hate it.


Dumb tests. Fuckin shit.




Stranger Days this journal sucks.

kitora

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

No Go Magic Mountian... [26 Apr 2004|03:14am]
[ mood | anxious ]

We did not go this weekend but it looks good for this coming saturday. Eye watched Comedy Central this weekend & it was Hell-larious. Dana slept over & we beat the living be-jesus out of one another. Good times. [sic]
Eye made this cool 80's mix. Awesome. Eye saved my money & now eye can get this thing that eye need to get. [more detials later] SAT's were today. Eye am confident that eye did masterfully.
Over all today is good & eye am in good spirits.
Name brands still piss me off though.
Not much else here.

Eye can see my friend Jen across the room. She has no clue eye will be her demise. Muhahaha!

Jusk Fuckin.



Stranger Days,
kitora

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Empty..& complete.... [22 Apr 2004|03:57am]
You belong in the world of darkness and are a part of the despair.
You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla
<3

Magic & Flabberghasted Fingertips.... [21 Apr 2004|10:48am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Most of the time eye have no clue what is going on in class.

My teacher makes me want to stab myself. N E way.

Eye got some new gloves. They are amazing! That was lame. The most fasinating thing to happen recently is new gloves & belly button lint.

Ewwww. Eye hate my stomach. Eye wish eye was pretty.
Ugly.



Gross.



Nothing is ever good enough eye guess.

Eye am doing a report on Albert Fish. He was cool. He killed & ate little children. He fucked the boys. He wanted the girls to die virgins. Neat.


Eye wish eye was a cartoon charicter.

Re Yin [the inevitable force] is having his birthday at Magic Mountian. Eye hope eye can go.......did eye mention this alrready? Eye think eye did...


Oh well.

This journal is crap.


Eye go now.

-Kitora

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Regurgitating the sickness of what we call life... [19 Apr 2004|07:54pm]
[ mood | moody ]

Drained today.

Eye got a haircut. Eye like it. My dad thinks it's 'interesting'.

Looking forward to going to Magic Mountian this weekend. At least my hopes are up for that.

Eye feel sick though. Eye think maybe it was this french cheese eye ate earlier. Eh.

Eye went to group today. John told me about his new band.

Sean is in it.


Eye saw The Punisher & Kill Bill Vol.2 this weekend with Re Yin. (a.k.a. THe Inevitable Force)

Eye want to change my name to Kitora.
That's a cool name.


Not much going on today.
MY uncle's birthday was yesterday.
Happy B-day...tra la la.

Eye watched The Breakfast Club yesterday.

It was cool.
Yum Captin Crunch.

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

Crunchy Nuget Center?! [16 Apr 2004|10:53am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Well, today over all is turning out rather chipper than the last few days. The lack of sleep is making me cranky though. [that explains the rants....(more so)..]
Eye am looking forward to viewing Kill Bill 2 at the movies with The Inevitable Force (Re Yin's new name).
Go with it.


Ever get that feeling like you really need to get laid? We all do. My good friend the swedish pointed out my lack of sexual activities in the past few months. It seems quite apparant that eye needs me some lovin.....where's The Inevitable Force when eye need him?

He is not here today. Dammit.

To hell with him. Eye will squish him in the head later.

Eye need money in the worst way. Money=stuff that eye need.
No $=no stuff.
That's just another rotten fact of life that THE MAN whores out to people, so that we may work all of our lives only to die alone.

Eye will destroy him! *Makes roar face* (believe me you won't like the roar face.)

C'est la vie.

Eye let toni borrow my head shaver. Eye hope eye get it back.

We were talking about 'all is fair in love & war" in english class, & some dumass didn't know what it meant. The teacher sighed & had to clamly explain it as gently as she could that love hurts & if you do find "the one" they will die or cheat on you with your best friend (toni).


Eat more fruit human waste!

Stranger Days,
thorn

rose petels fell/kiss a dead rose <3

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